The most authoritative source of news and intuition-based reporting for the Buenos Aires Expat Community.

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Urban Yurt: The perfect accessory for your Digital Nomad Lifestyle

The economic crisis in the U.S. and the relative affordability of South America has spurned a trend of movement south by those whose work is "location independent," or, as they like to call themselves, Digital Nomads. Finding housing can be a challenge, however, especially in a city like Buenos Aires, in which many landlords require a guarantee by a property owner in order to secure a rental agreement. Some nomads have found a solution to this problem by bringing their housing with them: the urban yurt. A portable dwelling of 150-square feet with wooden floors that can be set up or taken down in a day, yurts are agile, flexible, and affordable.

"I don't couch surf anymore," says Mike Wilkins, a 7-year dedicated nomad. "I terrace surf. with my yurt, I can pop my own space on a rooftop in a day, bringing my own bedroom with me. It's the perfect solution. What's more, I can put it all in the back of a taxi when I need to move on." Mike uses a laptop with Internet access through a telephone company, and is connected wherever he goes.

While not recommended, some nomads also "stealth yurt," setting up their portable dwellings in abandoned buildings, parking garages, or rooftops that are rarely visited. When they need to move, they can be out in a couple of hours.

Wilkins does confess to some drawbacks of the yurt lifestyle. His yurt was stolen on his first day in Buenos Aires, for example, because he terrace-surfed with the wrong people. It is not weatherproof, and does not have bathroom facilities. Some point out the fine line between the "yurt lifestyle" and being a homeless guy with a tent. But Wilkins remains undaunted.

"It's the wave of the future," says Wilkins, "A true nomad isn't confined to one place. Wherever I am, I am home. It's very liberating."

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Welcome to BAB, Iran!

The now WORLD FAMOUS Buenos Aires Blog would like to welcome it's first visitor from Iran! With Ahmadinejad's (pronounced Ahm-a-Dinner-Jacket) recent visit to Brazil, it appears that the Middle East is turning it's eyes to the South:

Perhaps since Iran does not have any gays in it's country, and Buenos Aires known as a gay-friendly city, Iranians are a little gay-curious. Hmmm?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Southpat's Super-Simple Spanish Tips

From Six Conjugations, to One!

One of the most challenging things for Spanish speakers to adjust to when learning a Latin-based language is conjugating all those verbs. Memorizing verb endings is way too confusing, so the BAB has come up with some helpful tips to streamline the learning process:

In most Spanish textbooks, you will find the following pronouns to conjugate verbs with:
  • Yo
  • Vos (or Tú)
  • Usted/El/Ella
  • Ellos/Ellas/Ustedes
  • Nosotros
  • Vosotros
Let's take a look at these one by one, and see if we can simplify your Spanish learning by eliminating the unnecessary ones:

Yo: You don't need it if you talk about yourself in the third person.

¿Te gustan los libros de L. Ron Hubbard, Southpat?

Si, Southpat le gustan mucho. Son muy graciosos.

Vos/Tú: Let's just eliminate this confusion altogether. Why bother yourself with whether you need to speak Porteño or like the resst of Latin America? Just use the formal with everybody. They will get used to it.

Hola, Southpat! ¿Cómo estas?

Muy, bien, Tom.
¿Y Usted? ... Que bueno! ¿Y cómo esta Katie?

Ellos/ Ellas/ Ustedes: You can avoid this by rephrasing sentences to avoid using "they." Instead mention a single person first, and then someone else at the end of the sentence.

¿Cuándo estan viniendo John Travolta y Kelly Preston ?

John esta viniendo a las ocho. Y Kelly tambien.

Nosotros: You can avoid this by careful rephrasing as well.

Southpat, Tom y vos tienen lo mismo auditor?

Si. Yo tengo David Miscavige. Y Tom tambien.

Vosotros: Don't bother with this one. Only Spaniards use it. And no one trusts them.

As you can see, with Southpat's Simple Spanish Method (trademark pending), the teduim of memorizing conjugations is gone! From six persons to one!

Next time, vocabulary tips....

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Exclusive Interview with Health Guru Shri Shri Swami Swami Shri

Interview with Guru Shri Shri Swami Swami Shri on his forthcoming book, The Four New Humours: How to Balance Your Body, Mind, and Spirit to Get Everything You Want in Life Without Having to Do Too Much

Southpat: First, thank you so much for agreeing to spend some time with me. I know you have a very busy schedule right now, with your Oprah appearance coming up.

S.S.S.S.S.: The pleasure is mine.

Southpat: Tell us what inspired your book.

S.S.S.S.S.: The concept of the four humours is an ancient one, connecting the body with the four natural powers: earth, fore, water, and air. These principles are still applicable today, but our world has become much more complicated. So I have updated the conversation to include a more modern version, easily understandable by everyone.

Southpat: Tell us about the first humour: Snark.

S.S.S.S.S.: Snark manifests itself physically in a bitter taste in the mouth, and aching in the joints. The psychological manifestations are irritation at laughing babies, outbursts of cynical comments at inappropriate times, and the inability to trust.

Southpat: What can we do to balance an over-abundance of Snark?

S.S.S.S.S.: Well, I have several recipes in my book, but a simple one is to eat dark chocolate. In addition to being a good source of anti-oxidants, it balances Snark.

Southpat: And the opposite of Snark is Sap. Tell me about Sap.

S.S.S.S.S.: Sap physically manifests in many tears, and reddening of the skin. Many people with an over-abundance of Sap watch romantic comedies and listen to Michael Bublé. A good remedy for this is a coffee colonic, and in truth, drinking mate. I find that people in Buenos Aires rarely have an over-abundance of Sap.

Southpat: What is the third humor?

S.S.S.S.S.: Lube. People usually suffer from a lack, not an over-abundance. Physically, it manifests itself as dry eyes, and constipation. Psychologically, the libido suffers, and people tend to forget to groom themselves properly. Sexual activity is a wonderful remedy for a lack of lube.

Southpat: No one talks much about the fourth humour, Yeast.

S.S.S.S.S.: Yes, this is one which suffers from a lack of attention. People with an over-abundance of yeast are often gaseous, with much flatulence. They tend to have a bad body odor as well. Over-yeasters also become distracted, forgetting what they are doing from moment to moment. My favorite practice to balance yeast is to play the didgeridoo, or other wind instrument.

Southpat: What other advice can we find on your companion website?

S.S.S.S.S.: I have many recipes, and you can also buy my new product Good-Humour Bars, which are a nutritionally balanced snack. I have my own yoga tape, feng-shui book, lectures, zafus for zen meditation, my own line of skin product, and very soon, I will be conducting exclusive sweat-lodge retreats for only $10,000 per participant.

Southpat: Thank you so much for spending time with us today.

S.S.S.S.S.: The pleasure was all mine. Peace and good humour be with you.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Sanford Sex Tape Not Hot Enough to Be Scandalous: Optioned by Hallmark

A new sex tape starring Mark Sanford and his Argentine lover, "Maria," was leaked to the press yesterday. But contrary to inflating the political sex scandal, it has been deemed "not sexy enough" to matter. Media insiders were hoping to see the South Carolina Governor engaged in some S&M or fun fetish behavior, but were disappointed to see Sanford and his lover covered by silk sheets, murmuring love poems to each other, with Michael Bolton music playing in the background.

"I can see hotter sex than this on HBO," commented Sharon Warner, a media consultant who specializes in publicity for movie stars and political figures. "For a sex tape to matter these days, you need at least some toe-sucking. A good sex tape can be a career-changer for a politician on his way out of office. But this is too weak."

All may not be lost for Sanford, however, because the Hallmark Channel is in talks with him to possibly turn his story into a movie-of-the-week.