The most authoritative source of news and intuition-based reporting for the Buenos Aires Expat Community.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Play "Spot The Extranjeros" with BAB!

Send in your pictures of extranjero sightings! They tend to wear large sneakers, baseball caps, and look up. Maybe we will even sponsor a prize for the best pic of November! (Free pickle-brine colonic?)

Send pics to: southpatsue@gmail.com

Monday, October 26, 2009

Expat Dies in Tragic Mime Accident


Yesterday at 2:00 in the afternoon, Richard Andersen, an expatriate from Norway was hit by a bus while participating in an exercise for his mime class.

It was the third day of the 37-week intensive course in International Mime, in which students' first assignment is to practice "moving freely in the city." Unfortunately, Andersen was not aware that he still had to be on the lookout for traffic, as pedestrians do not have the right-of-way in Buenos Aires. Crossing Santa Fe against the light, he was struck down by the #152.

Andersen's cousin Anette Andersen, is trying to have his body flown back to Norway. "We want him to be buried in a glass box," says Andersen, "because we think that is what he would have wanted."

No charges are to be filed against the bus driver.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Ask Southpat: Etiquette Tips for Foreigners in BsAs

Dear Southpat:

I'm going to be traveling with my wife to Buenos Aires this November. Can you recommend any etiquette tips that will prevent me from being looked at askance?

Thanks,

Carl

Dear Carl,

I'm so glad you asked. Yes, there are several things I recommend:

1. Talk really loud in restaurants. And when people don't understand you, talk louder. It helps.

2. Comment loudly about how cheap everything is, especially when you are with Argentine acquaintances. It makes them feel proud about the good value they are offering to foreigners.

3. If you get invited to dinner at 9:00 PM, it really means 8:55. It's important to be prompt.

4. If you have to stand in a long line for anything, go ahead and march right up to the front. People don't mind if you go first, as you are a foreigner.

5. Waiters should be on top of it all the time. If you don't get your check promptly, point at your watch to let him know you are in a hurry and tell him "andale! check-o!" You might need to get visibly huffy, but you should be in and out of a cafe in 15 minutes of you need to.

6. Big, puffy, marshmallow-like tennis shoes are really in style this season. So is the "deck hand look": cargo shorts, T-shirt, baseball cap, and sandals.

7. No one shops without their Starbucks to-go cup in their hand. Always carry it with you.

8. Topics of interest at cocktail parties with locals are the Falkland Islands, and American football. They are big fans of the 49ers.

9. It's really macho to show how much you can drink in the least amount of time.

Hope these tips help. Have fun!

Southpat Sue

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"Frodo" Added to List of Argentine Baby Names

Video game developers and New Zealand natives, Aragorn and Arwen Walker, finally got news that their soon-to-be-born son will be allowed to have the name they have always wished for: Frodo.

Children born in Argentina are required to have names that are chosen from a state-approved list, most of which were traditionally names of Catholic saints. But over the years, the Argentine government has been more and more lenient with the law, approving those names which have become popular in other countries, or are consistent with the family's cultural traditions.

Huge fans of the Lord of The Rings trilogy, The Walkers changed their first names shortly after they met. They always planned to name their children from the story as well. "We were a little nervous at first that the Argentine government would consider Frodo too wackadoo," commented Aragorn. "But after we showed them the deep roots that the literary tradition and Renaissance Fairs have in our family, they conceded."

Frodo Walker is due on the 31st of October.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Religious Theme Park Considering Maradona Water Slide

Maradona's celebration of the Argentine national soccer team's win over Peru has become so popular, that Tierra Santa, a religious theme park in Buenos Aires, is considering building a water slide to honor it.



The proposal is for a giant water slide with a statue of Maradona at the top with arms outstretched. But there are a few minor considerations, the first is that the slide would not be in keeping with the major theme of the park, Christ's Crucifuxion.

"We are in negotiations now," says a spokesperson for the park. "We are thinking we might have a separate area dedicated to the slide. But it still depends largely on the performance of the national team. If they win the world cup, it would indeed be a miracle."

Monday, October 12, 2009

Hooker Strike Wreaks Havoc Among Unemployed New York Bankers

The droves of unemployed bankers coming to Buenos Aires to take advantage of lifestyle arbitrage made popular by the Playboy Article are finding an unforeseen impediment: Prostitutes, like Atlas of the popular novel, have just shrugged.

Prostitutes claim that they are not being paid for the full value that they provide. "These bankers think they are John Galt, but they are just commonplace Johns," says Gabriella, a local working girl. "Prices have gone up for our supplies. Everything from lube to nipple cream, to six-inch heels has risen, but the customers keep bargaining for lower prices. And you can't insist to the client that he bring his own butt-plug, because they don't know where or how to buy them. Something has to give."

In addition, hygiene costs have risen even further in order to battle the Swine Flu. Beatrice, who runs Hookers & Coke tours for travelers in Argentina, thinks that the strike will be over in a few weeks. "Once the clients understand that there is a minimum price they have to meet, and that they are getting full value for that price, work will resume. Foreigners from Britain and America are now under the impression that they can get services as cheaply as they can in Asia. This isn't Thailand."